Push
by samptra
Summary: Songfic to 'Push' 1x2, Will Heero intervine before it's too late?


WARNING Mature themes: abuse, mention of rape, male/male romance story. If you don't go for that don't read. A songfic 'Push' is property of Matchbox 20 (I changed lyrics slightly), as Gundam Wing is property of Bandi.

Author's Note: Just wrote this am in an extremely angsty mood tonight sorry to all Duo fans I really love him though. Hope you like, just a short one-shot songfic. Enjoy.

Push

* * *

_He said I don't know if I've ever been good enough_

_I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in_

Heero's fingers halted on the keyboard as he heard the front door close; Duo was home. Glancing at the time on his computer he silently bit his lip as the small clock read 3:00 am. The sound of footsteps reached Heero's ear's as he heard Duo start up the stair well, the heavy sound of the steps on wood alerted Heero that something wasn't right.

Silently he stood he had a feeling... suddenly he the heavy thump he'd been waiting for; the sound of a body falling. Rushing to his bedroom door Heero yanked the wood almost off it's hinges in his haste to get to the hallway.

The hallway was dark and quite as it should have been; all accept the prone figure on the floor. Heero hurried to crouch beside the unmoving teen, checking his breathing trying vainly to calm his pounding heart. The boy on the floor was out cold... "Baka," Heero whispered as he heaved the teen into his arms. Carrying the unconscious Duo into his room Heero set the braided boy on his bed.

Removing his friend's coat and shirt Heero nearly cried out, he settled for covering his mouth instead. Duo's pale limbs and torso were covered with cuts, bruises some old and almost faded others fresh nasty blue. Running into the washroom the Perfect Solider quickly pulled out the first aid kit along with a towel, filling a small bowl with water. Carrying the items carefully he made his way to Duo's side once more.

With infinite tenderness Heero cleaned and bandaged Duo's upper body; whishing not for the first time that these marks were from OZ soldiers. Heero knew it was ironic to think thus but dammit! He hated to see Duo like this, so helpless... so naive. He remembered that day months ago when Duo had first told him...

"_Heero can I tell you something?" Heero looked up from he laptop, to look Duo in the face. Beautiful violet eyes that twinkled with life and vitality smiled back at him. "Heero I got a boyfriend..." Heero felt his heart clench. He the 'Perfect Solider' loved the self proclaimed Shinigami with all his heart; yet even now after the war was over he couldn't bring himself to tell Duo he loved him. Now..._

"_Isn't it great Hee-chan?" those wide eyes pleaded for Heero's approval, wide eyes that wanted so much to please... "Yeah Duo.. That's great..." smiling happily Duo had left Heero in there little apartment alone... to go and meet another man._

Still dabbing at Duo's wounds Heero's mind replayed the last few months as if they had happened to someone else. It seemed surreal almost like a movie or a soap opera; soon after Duo had started going out with his 'boyfriend' he'd come home like this... beaten.

"_Heero do you hate me..." Heero looked at Duo sadly, "No Duo I don't hate you". Trying to smile Duo succeed only in causing his split lip to bleed again. One eye swollen shut, the entire left side of his face black and blue, Duo reached up to gently touch Heero's face "Do you think I'm good enough Heero? Do you think I can find love?" Choking back tears Heero nodded as Duo smiled once before falling asleep. Leaving Heero frustrated and angry, silent tears ran from clear blue eyes. "Duo... you have my love..."_

Heero was snapped back to the present when he heard a groan from Duo, the once Gundam pilot stirred slightly before lying still again. Duo never told Heero how he had come by the bruises, never told him where the cuts and the broken bones came from... but Heero knew.

He knew and yet he did nothing... he never tried to protect Duo, never wanted to know the real reason why. Heero Yuy was a coward. Duo seemed so happy, he couldn't... wouldn't destroy that. Heero wanted so bad to stop Duo's pain to end the suffering but he was afraid.

Finished his ministration Heero gently tucked Duo into his bed, giving the pale angel a kiss on the forehead he left the room; unable to stay yet... he didn't want to leave.

_and I don't know if I've ever been really loved by a hand that's touched me_

Duo felt the stinging blow land, "Duo I don't want you to live with that man!" whimpering Duo was knocked to the floor by the second blow to his stomach. Tears made wet trails across Duo's blood smeared face, the punches and blows were nothing new to him... feeling himself being roughly hauled to his feet, a rough hand being shoved up his shirt, "You know I do this out of love Duo, only I love you Duo... no one else wants you..."

Not bothering with trying to hid his tears Duo felt himself be pushed against the wall.

_well I feel like something's gonna give and I'm a little bit angry_

No tender words of love no preparation, just the shredding of his cloths and being rammed against a wall. The pain was unending and Duo couldn't help but cry out, that only earned him an ear ringing slap and a harder thrust, "You like this don't you little slut... you love the way I fuck you up the ass don't you!" punctuating every word with another brutal thrust Duo tried to block out the pain.

He tried not to cry out again lest he be beaten even worse, he waited forever for the pain to end or the darkness in the outer reaches of his mind to claim him.

_well this ain't over, no not here_

With a moan Duo felt the man behind him climax. His boyfriend stepped away allowing the battered figure to slide to the floor gasping hard. "I'm leaving. I want you gone when I get back..." without further ado the other left... left Duo lying on the floor bleeding.

Every move was agony injuries half healed, new injures bleeding... Duo lay on the hard wood in misery wishing to god he could die right here. He was an ex-Gundam pilot, he fought to save this... to preserve this kind of life. The freedom to live... yet he'd killed so many, and he was so lonely. So tired... he had to stay. He couldn't leave this. This man was the only one who loved him right?

_while I still need you around you don't owe me_

Heero... he had to get home to Heero. Heero would help him, Heero would tell him he was loved... this was love right?

Groaning Duo moved slowly out of the apartment wearing the tattered remains of his clothing. Their house wasn't far from here he could make it... walking slowly, every step was excruciating as the cool night threatened to swallow him. He would return home to Heero, and Heero would clean him up he always did. Heero would let him sleep in his bed, and Duo loved him... he loved Heero but Heero didn't love him. Only 'he' loved him...

The one who cursed him... hurt him... used him. Yes 'he' loved him Heero didn't. He had told Duo that only 'he' loved Duo no one else. Duo was alone in the world no parents no family... not even friends... oh yes 'he' had said that. But Duo wouldn't leave, never...

_We might change, yeah, yeah we just might feel good_

_I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will I wanna push you down_

Duo paused in his trek towards the supposed sanctuary of his shared home with Heero; to look over the side of the bridge he was crossing. Leaning heavily against the uneven stones that created the arch over the gently flowing river beneath him, Duo closed his eyes tightly. Images he longed to rid himself of played through his mind.

The first time 'he' had struck him. 'He' had backhanded the braided pilot across the room, shocked Duo could only stare numbly at the man who claimed to love him...

_well I will, well I will I wanna take you for granted, _

_I wannatake you for granted yeah yeah well I will_

Giggling Duo heaved himself onto the bridges ledge wobbling slightly as the wind rushed past him. Lifting his arms he looked up as the stars, so far away aloof... yet Duo knew them intimately. He'd been there dancing among the heavens locked forever in an endless waltz with death...

Giggling again Duo felt the tattered remains of his shirt being lifted by the wind. Long brown hair unravelled it's self from it's braid as Duo continued to stand precariously on the edge of the bridge. Hair free Duo felt the silky thread brush against his nearly nude body.

_he said I don't know why you ever would lie to me like I'm a little untrusting_

_when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya_

Maybe he could fly... Duo leaned forward slightly. He was once able to fly... in the black abyss of space he could soar beyond the stars. Perhaps now he really could fly...

_and I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me you couldn't stand to be near me_

"No! Duo!" strong arms wrapped tightly around Duo's waist pulling him back away from the edge of oblivion. Those same arms continued to hold till he found himself looking into eyes as blue as the summer sky. Eyes that he loved... but didn't love him. "Duo why?" Heero crumpled to the ground clutching Duo tightly, "Duo why?" messy locks his bright eyes as the Wing pilot bowed his head, "Don't leave me Duo, tell me what's wrong..."

Duo grasped Heero's face staring into dewy eyes, tears made silent tracks down familiar features. Heero was crying. For who? For him? "Don't Duo I... I love you don't leave me..." Duo's world stopped.

_when my face don't seem to want to shine cuz it's a little bit dirty_

_well don't just stand there, say nice things to me I've been cheated I've been wronged_

"Heero no..." Duo was crying to. "Heero don't play with me tell me truthfully! I can't take it... I just want so much... just want the pain to stop... just to end..."

_and you don't know me, I can't change I won't do anything at all_

"I've never been more serious Duo... I love you I always have I was just so scared". Duo cried clutching Heero's tank top, and Heero cried holding onto Duo's hair tightly. Perhaps it was a moment frozen in time, no one would have believed the two boys in the middle of the bridge were once the most feared terrorist in the universe.

All they would see was perhaps two lovers finally finding one another in the dark...

_I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will I wanna push you_

_  
down, well I will, well I will I wanna take you for granted_

Heero carried Duo back to there shared home, hoping that maybe now they had a chance at being together. Maybe now Duo would tell him the truth... the truth that still scared Heero. Kicking the door shut with his foot he carried his burden into his room.

Next came the first aid kit and the fresh clothing per usual, what changed this time was Heero slipping in bed with Duo.

_I wanna take you for granted yeah, yeah well I will_

_oh but don't bowl me over just wait a minute_

When Duo woke it was still night. An odd heaviness on his chest made the still sleepy ex-pilot look down. A tanned arm was wrapped tightly around him, his back was pressed closely to a solid wall of flesh. This wasn't right 'he' never stayed with me... all at once the evenings events crashed back to Duo. The bridge. Heero... stirring slightly Heero tightened his arm, "Duo... please tell me..." reaching down Duo locked his hand with Heero's holding the arm like a lifeline.

Slowly haltingly the story came out, the beatings the... rapes. Heero hugged his love closer shaking with rage and self disgust, he knew and yet... "Forgive me Duo". Blinking back tears Duo turned to face his friend, his love...

_well it kinda fell apart, things get so crazy_

"Heero tell me you love me... please..." soft callused hands brushed tears away tears that fell from violet eyes, "Alway Duo, love you forever..."

_crazy don't rush this baby, don't rush this baby_

"Well little bitch back again..." Duo stood just outside the door, he knew he really shouldn't be here but... this was for his new life he needed to get rid of his past. " Never again..." 'he' looked at Duo, "What did you say?" trembling Duo squared his shoulders, "No... this time I walk away..." turning away the long haired man was brought up short by a yank at his hair. "Oh no... your not going anywhere..."

_I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will I wanna push you down_

"Oh God..." Heero rushed through the open doorway. He knew... he'd know the second he'd come home and Duo was gone. Duo must have gone to that man's house... God he'd known all along... "Duo? Duo! Talk to me please!" thick brown hair matted with dried blood fell like a river across the floor as Heero scooped Duo in his arms, "Duo please..." tears filled blue eyes, as ever so slowly a single violet eye opened.

_well I will, well I will I wanna take you for granted_

"Heero..." the thin voice cracked as Duo was seized in an uncontrollable coughing fit, "Heero I'm sorry... please forgive me... I do..." Tears flowed freely now, "Duo... oh God no Duo! Please... don't... don't leave me here..." shakily a pale hand stained crimson cupped Heero's wet cheek, "Heero I... I..."

_I wanna take you for granted yeah yeah well I will_

Colourless lips moved silently before thick red blood bubbled forth running in rivulet down the pale chin. Wide dark eyes stared lifelessly at the ceiling. And the racking sobs of a man who'd lost all hope... "Duo... I know... I know you loved me... "

THE END


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